Last week, I was walking the ever adorable Cooper, a year-old Labradoodle. He has a gorgeous chocolate coat and the most expressive green eyes. His modelesque legs supercede his fairly small body. Cooper is possibly the happiest pup in the world and literally, has a bounce in his step.
Anyway, we're bouncing right along and he stops to do his biz. I pick it up with a blue baggie and we continue on our way. We approach an apartment building that has trash bins next to their parking and I, wanting to get rid of poopie contents, head over there to throw it away. An older woman appears out of nowhere and this is the conversation that proceeded:
OL (Old Lady): Excuse me, take that with you. Do not throw your trash in there.
Me: Sorry? Is this not a trash bin? Isn't that what they are for?
OL: Take it with you.
Me: You realize this trash bin lives outside. It doesn't live in your house, so it's fine.
OL: No, take it with you. Trash day isn't until next week.
Me: Let me get this straight. You don't want me to throw this sealed bag into a trash bin the county of Los Angeles gave you for free because trash day isn't until next week?
OL: Yes, thank you. Please leave.
Me: You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met.
That last bit is actually false. A few weeks earlier, I was walking another dog and after cleaning up his biz, threw the bag away in one of the bins lining the street. Mind you, everyone's bins were on the street because the following morning was trash pick up. The second after I threw the bag away, I hear a banging and I turn around to see an old lady banging on her window mouthing, "Don't do that!" over and over. So what do I do? I give her a big thumbs up!
I tell my girlfriend, Kay, about both incidents and I revel in the utter ridiculousness of these women when she goes deadpan and says, "That is so going to be you when you're old, except you'll chase after them with your cane."
And then I realize, she's totally right.
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